Cleanse

Ever wake up and realize you’ve been living in a place for 10 years?

I love my apartment. This little bunker, my fortress of solitude, has been my refuge ever since I moved into it. Virginia Woolf was right about having a room of one’s own (and money). Not just for writing fiction, but for having independence and the ability to live the way you want.

But we don’t always notice how the grime builds up. Mostly on the kitchen cabinets, in the places we open and close the doors – finger oil collects over time. Or the occasional spatters on the wall when we cook. The dark corners of the doorways – the grime on the saddles between one room and another.

I’ve been spending this weekend de-griming. Concocting solutions, spraying and scrubbing. More to do tomorrow. But it’s good work. It’s work I’ll appreciate in the days to come.

Meanwhile, we’ve bombed Iran. Iran’s been a third rail since the Carter years.

Iran’s been a cradle of colonization and manipulation for centuries. The last Shah introduced a lot of modernization – but he was massively corrupt as well. As had to happen, given the colonization and manipulation.

I was in high school when the hostages were taken. One of them was the brother of a classmate of mine. For a tiny town in one of the many armpits of America, this was a big deal – and yet it got kind of closed over, occluded, after Reagan was elected. The hostages were freed. What more did we need to know?

The Shah himself was ejected, with his family, and he came to the US to die of cancer. Later, I wound up briefly dating the son of the gynecologist to the Empress of Iran – he had the gold watch with their faces on it to prove it. Wild.

The Shah died in the same room where my ex-father-in-law later died. Of cancer as well. It was the room where wealthy or influential people died of cancer.

Once the Shah was run out of Iran, the theocracy took over. The burqas and hijabs were installed like window decor, except the windows are women. And the theocracy has ruled ever since. There are pockets where women are more free, but by and large they are limited to the wealthy.

So now we have bombed them. A volatile nation in a volatile part of the world.

There is a good percentage of this country that is swept up in Evangelicalism. And Evangelicalism is predicated on the return of Jesus. It sounds insane – it IS insane – but this is a group of people who believe that catastrophe in the Middle East will lead to the return of the Messiah. Ironically, I don’t believe that Stephen Miller has anything to do with this – he’s too busy invading Dodger Stadium – but this definitely has the stench of Peter Hegseth.

I wish this wasn’t that insane. It is that insane. These are fanatics – real launched-from-reality fanatics – who are in charge of our weaponry, our arsenals, our armed forces.

I can’t do anything about this except vote. I have one opportunity to vote on Tuesday, for local government. ABC – Anybody But Cuomo.

In the meantime, I need to clean. I need to scrub this home inside and out. I need to make solutions of vinegar and baking soda and dish soap and water. I need to ask my landlady for a new stove hood. I need to scrub. And scrub. And scrub.