Those of Us

Years ago, I wrote a blog post about the harrassment I’d received in the book industry. I gave up this blog, but the truth about what I’ve known still holds:

In the course of my career in the book industry, I have:

1. Been asked if the reason I was having trouble negotiating a deal was because “you’re a woman and she’s a woman.”
2. Had a vicious rumor spread, after a conference in New Orleans during Mardi Gras, that I had taken off my top in exchange for some beads – I literally had to approach every person this man had talked to and ask for help in stopping the spread.
3. Been told I need to “work harder to break in” to cliques of men who are tightly bonded and want nothing to do with me.
4. Been told I am “arrogant”. Tried to square #3 with #4. Failed.
5. Been paid less than male co-workers of equal rank.
6. Taken only 3 weeks of maternity leave when my youngest was born because I didn’t want to compromise my job (and I was on email the whole time). Still got laid off.
7. Had a director of sales feel me up publicly in front of the rest of the company (and no one said anything).
8. Had that same director tell me he wanted to get me into a tent (?!).
9. Had HR ignore all my documentation about these things.
10. Been called “defensive” by a male colleague too impatient to listen to the structural reasons why his big idea won’t work.
11. Been called “emotional” by a male colleague when I presented evidence about why a toxic business deal was going to actually shut out the very market we wanted to recruit.
12. Been asked to pose in a swimsuit.

This is only what I can remember. Oh, and there was that time I was asked to hold onto some gun parts, but that had nothing to do with gender. I was just conveniently located in a bookstore.

Since 2012, I have not been harassed – guess why? Because I’ve aged out of harassment. I was 47.

But that doesn’t mean I’ve aged out of credibility. Or brains. Still, a woman’s brain has never been taken seriously, unless under duress – the duress of inviolable truth, the duress of undeniable fact. And then a woman dies.

These files being released – it reinforces the truth. These are the men in charge…. Women, children, are livestock. We are meat to be moved around. Our brains mean nothing. Our souls mean nothing.

Until they do.