A Matter of Duty

To every, “What are your plans for the holiday?”, my answer was, “Spending time with family in Boston.”

I don’t have family in Boston.

I brought family with me, in the form of my portion of Mom’s ashes, as well as the old key to the church that Dad presided over from 1971 to 1995, when he died. I wanted these pieces of them to be together at Harvard Divinity School, where they met in 1961, when she was in her last year and he was in his first – he had changed undergraduate majors from aeronautical engineering to theology in his senior year, so had to put in two more years of undergrad to get the requirements finished.

I’d argued with myself a lot about doing this. My last day at my job is on New Year’s Eve. So there’s a concern about financial outlay on a trip that wasn’t strictly necessary – but the more I thought about it, the more strictly necessary it became. To the point where it narrowed and focused into the strongest of urges. Mom deserves this. Dad deserves this. They deserve it together.

I was pretty sure nobody would be around on Christmas Day – even divinity school students get a winter break. And that proved correct. The campus was empty. It was a pretty easy thing to do, scatter the ashes and twist-tie the key at the base of one of the shrubs. The ground was too hard to bury anything.

It was quick. I didn’t want to linger in case someone came by – I wasn’t sure of the legality of things, but also, who wants to consternate someone passing by on Christmas Day? I did what I came to do, and started walking the campus paths, thinking about how things had clearly changed since my parents were there. New buildings. A greenhouse. A set of newly-installed benches and tables.

When I reached Cambridge Street, I summoned an Uber. I had a late-lunch reservation at a local institution, where the bartenders were dressed like Santa and families were spilling out of booths. The kid seated next to me had received a Nintendo Switch that morning. Despite the pressing crowd and massive turnover of tables, the waitstaff were warm and friendly and kind. After having done a hard thing – a necessary thing – it was perfect.