Quislings

Vidkun Quisling was a Norwegian Nazi. From Wikipedia:

Quisling died believing that he would be swiftly vindicated, but 80 years after he fell from power, his legacy is overwhelmingly that of a man who betrayed his country for personal and political gain.

I’m thinking of so-called “allies”. I’m not on a tear against men – I just really wish that men were better. Not making fun of women behind their backs, not standing up for us, not letting shit go because you want to be one of the alpha group, or whatever.

“Oh, but you’ve been raped, you’re prejudiced” – and where were you while that was happening and why didn’t you help? Did you stop any other rapes? Did you yell at a guy after the fact, because he was cruel to a woman? Did you in any way give a whisper of protest?

“Oh, you’re bitter” – perhaps ask why? Maybe dig into that a little? Perhaps there’s a reason, a very good reason? And maybe it’s not bitterness – maybe it’s just exhaustion at seeing the same thing happen over and over and over again?

I’m not sorry for what I’m about to say. A lot of men in my orbit really do not want to look bad among other men. In order to achieve a sense of belonging. But that comes at a cost. At the cost of women’s lives. Or children’s lives, when it comes to it.

And that is cowardice.

For the last few months I’ve had a list of 4 men that I want to see jailed for rape, sexual offenses, pedophilia, or just plain larceny. At the moment, I have had satisfaction on 3 counts: a local man who would interest exactly one person in my life; Russell Brand; and Thomas Markle.

The fourth will come out soon, and frankly, hiding behind the screen of “oh, I might harm myself if allegations of my abusive behavior come out” is the worst possible cowardice.

Quislings. And that’s the tip of the iceberg. This type of man pretends to be a friend, and turns around and – maybe not engages in the behavior, but doesn’t want to stir the pot. Doesn’t want to bring degeneracy to anyone’s attention because it would cause problems in the community. Certainly doesn’t want to bring attention to himself as a whistleblower. Heaven forfend.

This is beyond #MeToo. It’s not a hashtag. It’s life. It’s what women and children have been living with for centuries. Attacks, grooming, coercion, rape, brainwashing – as a way of life.

As a way of life.

And it’s about time that was recognized – and accounted for. Just because it’s always been going on (and it has always been going on) doesn’t mean it HAS to always be going on.

Cowards cloak themselves in the bubble wrap that history has given them. Deciding not to hear, to see, to read. Comforting themselves in the knowledge that this ugliness will never reach them.

Except it does. Sister, mother, aunt, daughter – it does. These men can clap their hands over their ears – and I have actually seen this happen in real time with men I loved, as I tried to explain a thing that happened to me. “I don’t want to know.” “I can’t hear it.” “It probably wasn’t what you thought it was.” Meaning: no woman I am with could have EVER experienced anything untoward because that would be a reflection on me. I would be involved with a flawed woman.

Men: The only thing that’s a reflection on you is your inability to rise to the moment and make sure assault never happens again. And yes, I realize that no one individual man can ensure that.

But, frankly, enough of you can.